In one of her many excellent books, Brene Brown writes of searching and re-searching the question: Do you think people do their best? I find it to be a struggle question. My heart replies Yes! My brain states No! Do I do my best? I am learning about best to very slowly respond “Yes.” It’s called cutting slack for myself, extending compassion to me, and celebrating…my best.
Brene’s husband had the best reply. After taking a night to ponder the question, he told her he did not know if people did their best or not. But he felt a lot better in the world believing that they did. Believing that people do their best. His stance is a prime example of Change your beliefs, change your perception, and you will experience a rise in your happiness levels. For Real.
In a previous blog, I wrote of flaws. So how can I be doing my best when I have flaws? Exact point! Best includes flaws, it is not perfection. Best is best. The best I can do at that moment, in that day, as a flawed human being.
The real issue lies with the Judge within. The Judge holds the stamp that prints Best! A+! Or, Not so good. Needs Improvement. Sometimes the Judge puts down her or his head and says “O My God. Really!?” It seems at times we do our very best at judging ourselves as not doing our best. Then we judge others. All the time. A very sad situation.
Many beliefs sprinkle the ethos of best. Don’t tell someone they are doing their best or they will stop working so hard ie. they will stop competing. Another common belief is “I know they could do better, they are just lazy.” Does it feel a bit dangerous to believe someone is doing their best? As if we are letting them off the hook? Encouraging second rate success? Accepting mediocre? Dumbing down? Lowering “our” standards? Whatever that means. It all begins with the fear and judgement mass within our brains and our histories and habits.
I want to do my best. All the time. Maybe when I am exhausted, anxious, hungry, or pressured, I cannot do my best. Wait. It IS my best. Under very difficult circumstances, it is my best. (Please note that these conditions happen much more frequently with introverts. Truly. They need to recharge far more often than extroverts, but more on that in a later blog.) What I will work on is not doing my best – but BELIEVING I am doing my best! We can do it together. I believe it with all of my heart. Peace.
October 28 2018